i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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