Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize