Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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