I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Randomize
