I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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