So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
now i know why i became what i already was.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize