You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
