ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
