My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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