I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Blood and glitter go together right?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
