We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
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