did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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