Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
