Me. At least after what I've been through.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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