i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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