I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
