while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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