My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Do vagina's smell?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
