why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
