his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Randomize
