I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
His hands were made for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
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