I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
