I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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