I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Omg I joined a choir last night...
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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