I'm going to jail i love you
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Randomize
