She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
