The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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