i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
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I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
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Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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