yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
