Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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