He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
