after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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