well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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