I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize