I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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