No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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