i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
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i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
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I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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