Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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