Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
