The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
