It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
