I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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