WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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