I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
