that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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