My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
