he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
