When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
