We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
