Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you didnt know i had herpes?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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