i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Couch. On fire.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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