$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize