; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
