The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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