The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
