I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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